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DR. DUM ARCHIVES - January 2003
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01.20.03
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Why is this war on oil going on if the united states can just get oil from mexico or alaska where there is plenty of oil? why do they go outta there way to cause a war when there is no need for it? whats behind all that do you know? and also, we dont even really need the oil.
-UhleeShuh
ANSWER
No, I guess we don't really need it. If thats what makes my car go, then I guess I'll just go out and by a more expensive electric car, cuz I'm made of money, but I really don't know what's going on. I guess if you want to destroy more of american land by digging up oil in Alaska, that's fine with me. You be a Republican like that. Why don't you ask Bush, he's the one that wants it so much.
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| QUESTION
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01.20.03
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Did you play any extracurricular activities at your school when you were a youngem?
-hiy
ANSWER
I'm sorry, but when I first read this I almost hemorraged. One of the extracurricular activities I *participated* in was tennis. I was rather good, the 2nd best person on the team. Then my gym teacher done gone and stab me with cheetahs. That was the end of my acting carreer also. Hope that questions your answer!
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| QUESTION
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01.20.03
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Why are Blonde's dumb? I mean I don't get it
-Silly Willy
ANSWER
It's a fact that the intelligence of the average blonde girl is sub-par. Usually this is proven when blondes ask why blondes are dumb. This is an old argument that should not be revived. Have a nice day!
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| QUESTION
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01.09.03
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If i don't like some one that i dated and they don't like me is there any chance of us getting back together???????
-Rosa
ANSWER
Wow! That's a great question! I wish *I* could get back together with someone that I didn't like and who didn't like me either! It would the bestest relationship ever! I hope you two duke it out forever and ever.
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| QUESTION
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01.09.03
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what is your real Name?
-Maceface
ANSWER
When I said I would be less judicious and answer all the questions I received, I didn't mean ask me this again. Do you have any remote idea in your cavernous skull how many times I've received this question? So again, I will not be answering it today. Or tomorrow, or next year. Nor after you die, so don't leave a request in your will for someone to ask me in order for them to get their inheritance from you. Thank you.
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| QUESTION
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01.09.03
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Think back to cartoons when an osterage would eat an object. In doing so, the object would become stuck in the cartoon's throat, its outline visible to all as it was pressed against the skin. If this could occur in real life, what object would look the neatest lodged in one's throat?
-Hungry to swallow
ANSWER
I would have to say, a large boat, such as the Titanic, or maybe a goat. I like goats.
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| QUESTION
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01.09.03
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Is there anything I can do to gradually begin eating foods again after having me teeth cleaned? They always feel so shiny and new, that I don't want to dirty them again by allowing food to enter my mouth. It's rather unsettling. Please offer me tips to reintroduce food into myself so that I do not starve. Thank you.
-The teeth.. too clean...
ANSWER
I would suggest a: not letting the dentist polish your pearly whites, or b: coating all your food with soap. That way your food is clean before you eat it and it won't dirty up your mouth.
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