DR. DUM ARCHIVES - May 2002 QUESTION 05.09.02 i can't seem to get a grip on reality. i tried to read those books "how to get a grip on reality" but it didn't seem to work! what should i do?!?!?! im so lost and only seem to fill my days staring at that ugly brown spot on the wall. HELP ME!!!! -Basic ANSWER WOW! I didn't know there were books on how toget a grip on reality! I always thought it was enoughto be boring and normal. Gonna have to pick one ofthose up, maybe it's got some tips on how to be superboring. Like NOAH! QUESTION 05.09.02 I like tacos, but no one else does. They all like cheese and they want to take over the world, but I like tacos with out cheese, i like them with chocolate. Could you tell me if cheese has an effect on the brain. I think that it causes you to be more evil and chocolate makes you nice. am I right? -Ooogleywooogley ANSWER Wow! You contradict yourself within the first two sentences. You like tacos without cheese, whileyour friends like them with cheese. And they alsojust don't like tacos. I'm not answering this becauseyou obviously are too busy trying to be sounding coolto make sense. Goodbye. QUESTION 05.07.02 what do you think my name is? -ME ANSWER Silly McStupid-head (Note From Webmaster-- Please, let us all remember that the Doctors here at DUMWeb.com are not psychics. So, please stay away from asking any questions that you would ask The Magic 8 Ball.) QUESTION 05.07.02 Stunned... I noticed your argument on beauty, and so this isn't really a question, more of a response... The argument I'm submitting is quite simple: if an object contains beauty, through the eyes of even only ONE individual, then the object is christened beautiful. Who are we (you and I) to neglect what is beautiful? Such as: an attractive dark haired girl (not blonde) walks in, and you find her attractive... however, your friends do not. Does that mean she isn't attractive? Because if beauty was relative, it would certainly mean she was only beautiful to certain people. Doesn't seem very correct... ones opinion negates anothers. But rather, to say that if you thought she was beautiful, she WAS in fact, beautiful, and the others just didn't grasp the beauty. This is found in many ways... killings, murders, rape... I don't find any of those acts beautiful, in fact, I think they're horrible... however, somehow, some people do. Who are we to take that from them? I know it's cruel of them to do those things, but still, the vision of beauty must be external for everyone to find beauty in every object. An object can't be beautiful and ugly, not possible. That would contradict itself and the object would be no more. Unto further responsiveness... through reletavism,let's say you found it INCREDIBLY beautiful to kill... Why should we be able to persecute you? Because you were doing what you thought was beautiful? Instead, what you do, is you allot a set amount of beauty to every object, even the persecution of convicts, that way, any action can be caused and any reaction can be deemed appropriate, simply because it is beautiful. Tell me what you think. -Kurt ANSWER That's it though, the object isn't christenedbeautiful because there isn't a unanimous vote forbeauty on it. If I find her attractive and my moronicfriends do not, it means that I'll be the one mostlikely to score with her. That's why it isrelativism. She's only beautiful for those who findher beautiful. For the rest: she's nothing. If thatdoesn't seem very correct would you want to beformally judged to ALL as either beautiful or ulgy? No middle ground whatsoever: you are either hot ornot. Anyone like that is a mindless slave toa)Hollywood b)the press and c)snobby vapid sluts whoonly want to look good. That's why you shouldn't beallowed to argue over what's beautiful and what's not.About finding killing beautiful, you'll have to bringin experts on what's more important: Killing orbeauty. Would you rather oppress my desire to bebeautiful(kill people) or keep me from doing somethingthat is just plain bad(kill people). I'd say, screwyou and your beauty, this guy is being bad, throw himin jail so he can't be beautiful(kill people). I'lljust have to be sad so that the rest of the populationcan be safe. Your allotment idea still won't work. People willargue over how many beauty points each thing shouldget. Lets say I think blondes should get a 5 andbrunettes a 4. You think brunettes are hotter andshould get a 5 and blondes a 4. Either way, the onewith the lower score(4) is going to be sad thatthey're only a 4 and we're gonna have to take it tothe head Point Giver to say which one is morebeautiful. Relativism is the only way to go forbeauty because everyone is happy with what they findto be beautiful as long as it's something safe. What if you were a prince and the king said you couldmarry any girl you wanted as long as she was an 8 orhigher (on a scale of 10, 10 being the most beautifulso decided by the head of the World BeautyDepartment). So he gives you a list, complete withphotos of all the women in the world listed 8 to 10. But you're in love with a girl you already know, soyou look her up on the COMPLETE LIST of girls from 1to 10 ratings. The girl you love is only a 3 butshe's the most beautiful girl in the you think. You'dbe screwed, because you wouldn't be allowed to marryher. QUESTION 05.07.02 Ethically, should some people be able to have a bigger tombstone than others simply because thier relatives paid more? -Die Fenster Putzen ANSWER What are you saying? That is just plainridiculous. Just because you have a bigger tombstonedoesn't mean your better than the other corpses in theground. It has nothing to do with status, it's allabout how your relatives want to honor you. If theyliked you and have lots of moolah, then you get a bigone. If you were a moron, then you'l probably get asmall one. QUESTION 05.07.02 WHY AM I SO DUM -TERA ANSWER I don't even need to bother with this one. QUESTION 05.01.02 Why are men so mean? Last night I was out on a date and this man said that I was too fat and ugly and he said that I should be on the Opra Winfry show because I'm so fat! Why did he say this? Help me. -Krissy ANSWER If you're asking me? Probably because you are. QUESTION 05.01.02 why do i like some one that mite not like me? -FAITH ANSWER Obviously because you are a moron. Instead ofasking the person that you are liking, you are askingme. I don't know! I'm not your half-wit mind. AskNoah, he's a fool. QUESTION 05.01.02 If the American electoral college essentially votes for the president regardless of which candidate has the most votes, what's the use in even caring who is president? -HeroinKiss ANSWER Good point. As I heard it, supposedly theelectoral college is to cast their vote depending onwhat the rest of the state votes for. I doubt thathappens, so it's pointless to vote. We might as wellvote commie, because the college will still vote forthe ones they want to. QUESTION 05.01.02 Can staples be easily recycled? Is it worth the effort to recycle staples? Or does staple recycling already take place and I am simply unaware of it? -Office Supply Man ANSWER If you really want to spend the time doing thatgo right ahead. It'll keep you from bothering me. Archives Copyright ©2008 www.dumweb.com, All Rights Reserved