DR. DUM ARCHIVES - October 2002 QUESTION 10.27.02 i am looking for info about eptopic fetus being transfered to the uterus. has it been done? Can it be done? if no one has done it why not, with all the technologies available tody? -Malena ANSWER Fetus' aren't cool. I don't know if it's been done because, a: I'm not a fetus, and b: I'm not a fetus transplant doctor. I'm a question answering doctor. Hows about, you try a library? Or a fetus that's been transplanted? How many times you think I can say fetus before I get shot? Fetus! What a funky word fetus be? Fet-BANG! Ooo.. QUESTION 10.27.02 Excuse me? Hello? I was just wondering if you could tell me why Dr. Holiday doesn't have a link yet! Is it hiding and I just can't see it? If it is, I would appreciate it if you made it that beautiful shade of blue the rest of the links are. Thank you! I would also like to add, that Dr. Noah Tall sounded rather irritable. Thank you for your time, which I'm sure is very important. -Just Wondering ANSWER I don't know what you're talking about. Um...No link? I can go to his answer section if thats what you mean. He just hasn't answered any questions yet it seems. Or that someone coughwebmastercough hasn't posted them yet. I understand why though, because both this wonderful site and stewped.com have been down for a while. And yes, Noah was a jerk. QUESTION 10.27.02 I was going to ask a question.BUT! you seem to very rude. just woundering why you are? this is a web site that is suppose to be for answering questions . dum or not! -Debbie ANSWER You did ask a question. You're a hypocrite! QUESTION 10.27.02 Please Help!!! I am not trying to be funny, i was just sitting here surfing the net and a big gush of water swept into my house. It is about knee level and i am barely above the water in the chair. I have been siting here for 3 days. I am afraid to get down from here because i can see goldfish in the water, they ate my cat and dog and are trying to get up hgigh enough to eat me!!!!! This is not just some joke, Please Doctor, help me!!!! -Help!!!!!! ANSWER Whelp, sounds like you got yourself a real pickle there. If you have any pencils around, see if you can fashion them into some sort of harpoon and stab them. If not, then you're out of luck. You will soon be dead. QUESTION 10.27.02 L'énergie nucléaire est un des méthodes les plus dangereuses de produire l'électricité, mais elle est également une des plus efficace. Êtes-vous d'accord avec le rapport de tis? -Cattle Carrot ANSWER I would prefer my questions asked in ENGLISH! I agree, nuclear energy is great and all, but what do we do with the left over stuff? Why don't we fire it into the sun? No one's going to have to live on it, and it's gonna go out someday, so we could put it there. QUESTION 10.27.02 On one of the various news programs a couple "experts" were debating about the serial sniper. One guy was debating that the sniper is a gamer, blaming violent video games. Even claims that these video games gave the guy practice. What are your thoughts and opinions about this side of this so-called "experts" thoughts? -Phate ANSWER It's pretty obvious that the "experts" never played any of these video games. Only then can you say they cause violence in people if you've never experienced video game killing. In most games you don't even kill humans, so how can that relate? And in the war games, where you do kill humans, it usualy is because they're trying to kill you first. None of these games promote civilian killing and this sniper is killing civilians. I've played violent games since Wolfenstein 3-D came out and I haven't stabbed or shot anyone. The "experts" need to be fired. QUESTION 10.27.02 What makes fruits ripen in a paper bag? -JWS ANSWER Fruit will ripen anywhere you put it after you get it home. It's the nature of fruit. QUESTION 10.27.02 If our ultimate goal in life is to die and go to heaven, and Heavens up in the cosmos, and hell's down under the ground. Why do we bury people when they die? -Famous Vagabond ANSWER In our hearts, deep down, we want people to go to hell just because they die. They get to sit around and relax while we have to pay the funeral bills. A better question might be, why waste the time on earth and just go straight to heaven/hell? Instead of being born, just BAM! We're in hell, or heaven. QUESTION 10.27.02 You may not remember me, as I had forgotten about this site. Are you, or are you not, afraid that the new Dr. Holiday is attempting to overrule you? In his opening statement he clearly states (obviously as there is not much more to do in a statement then to ramble on about something stupid, boring, and useless), "Both Noah and Dum are simply ignorant entities who will do nothing more than flourish your minds with garbage. So then, come to me, with all of your wonderful (and not so much) inquiries.." He deliberatly, and directly called you at the least a stupid being (ignorant entitie. This attack seems cold, ruthless, and half true. Noah Tall was a jerk and person corrupted by too much church (too much, not becasue he went, but becasue he went too much). You, on the otherhand, display(ed) a poweress of awnsering questions I have never seen before, and after we infiltrated your sense of writing a few years ago since. I appologize and await a response -The Blonde's Brother ANSWER I do consider his statement an attack, but judging people just because you can is wrong. Note how I did not insult him because he took Noah's spot, nor because he insulted me first. I wrote my new intro after he put his up and I could have been vicious, but I withheld. He has not answered any questions yet, so I can't judge his character based on what he writes...yet. As the saying goes, don't judge a book by it's cover. All of the writings I have put up here on Dumweb are only a small portion of my personality, like the cover of a book. He judges though! Remember back to high school, the ignorant people who didn't like you called you names and judged you just by the way you look, and if you took the time to listen to what they said, you learned that they were, and still are, stupid. Dr. Holiday is in the first stages of this. He begins with namecalling and judging, then we learn of how *he* is the truly 'ignorant entity/being.' You're apology is accepted, and I look forward to questions from all. QUESTION 10.27.02 why are you answering all of these questions? -nobodyimportant ANSWER What questions? I've only gotten to two by you. Why is there more? Do they get worse? I won't answer 'em then. QUESTION 10.27.02 where were you born? -i forgot ANSWER In a hospital. QUESTION 10.27.02 what if the sky was water? -nobody important ANSWER If the sky was water we'd need gills. Cuz the sky would be water, air would be like our "outer space." So our atmoshpere would be water, we'd need gills. QUESTION 10.27.02 I must ask if you welcome this new competition- the new Doctor Holiday which has been set before us. Do you see him as a new friend? New competition to slowly drive insane, as occurred with Dr. Noah? Are you a supporter of him or enemy? Please tell us, wise doctor, so that your loyal fans may know what to think of this intrusion so that we can better serve thee? -I'm a little tea pot... ANSWER He seems *very* cocky. From his little note on the main page, I deem him enemy of the people. I say, I'm the one you know and love, so I'm the one you should support. This website *is* named for me, after all... But give him a try, find out what he likes, dislikes, infiltrate his mind, then destroy him from the inside out. Welcome, Dr. Holiday! QUESTION 10.27.02 is 1+1=3 because every one at my school sez that it is -Oliver Jennings ANSWER Well, you obviously go to a school for gifted children. The gifted kids that require wheelchairs, not the genius kind. Only in the made up world of mathematics does 1+1=3. In the real world though, it only equals 2. You shouldn't believe everything the kids at school tell you, because usually, they are just trying to get you to look stupid. QUESTION 10.12.02 Does Dr. Noah Tall realize that Dr. DUM did not encourage any of his fans to write hate mail to Noah and in no way drove Dr. Tall to his current state of hate. If I remember correctly (which i may not) Noah came here saying Dr. DUM was a fluke and isnt a real Dr. flinging dirt on his first appearence. Well all the fans of the beloved doctor didnt take well to this, so Noah, can you really blame US, the fans of DUMWeb, for being jerks, or will you take credit for throwing the first stone? -Famous Vagabond ANSWER You make a very good point, Mr. Vagabond. That jerk did come on here saying that I'm not real and then he started flinging his "Christianity" left and right. QUESTION 10.05.02 Why don't medical doctors find a way to transfer life energy from living useless people into soon to be useful dead people?Example: Cheri O'Teri into Gilda Radner, Colin Quinn into James Belushi. I', sure there are many more peole deseving of this treatment -SNLFAN ANSWER That is a great idea! How about Using Dr. Noah to infuse Lincoln, or some good president. QUESTION 10.02.02 Je pensent que DR. NOAH a un bâton énorme vers le haut de son âne, que vous pensent? Règles de P.s. = de DR.dum!!! -Down With Noah ANSWER Yay for me! QUESTION 10.02.02 If I had a blue shirt and a green shirt, and i was colorblind, how could i make sure the shirt i picked would not clash with my tangerine-spotted chartreuse plastic pants? -Georgie ANSWER I like clashing. Wear it any way you like. QUESTION 10.02.02 Help! I'm stuck in a gooey swamp, and there's an evil looking gang of squirrels making chirpy noises and looking cute! What should I do? -Cattle Carrot ANSWER Ok, is it really gooey? Or just sort of gooey. I'd say, throw gooeyness at the squirrels until they drown, then you should have less goo in the hole, cuz its on the squirrels and you can get out. QUESTION 10.02.02 Alright, this is an inquiry that has been tearing away at my mind for some time now... This not a complaint, so hear me out. It's overly obvious that this site isn't actually about answering questions with intelligible answers, nor is it about answering questions seriously. From my observations, keen as they may not be, you two probably sit around, take some mind altering substance, then proceed to read an array of inquiries to which you reply 'wittily'. But let's assume, hypothetically, that I'm wrong, that this isn't just for your amusement, to belittle people without actually having to do anything, and that you do care to answer intelligent questions. I am wondering, who you are, to judge whether or not a question is worth answering. What makes a query intellectual? Does it have to be though provoking? Does it have to be something you don't know the immediate answer to, or that has an interesting answer? To me, asking how many neurons there are within the body is a 'stupid' question, but a psychologist might disagree. So in all of this, you actually shun people for asking questions that they are wondering. What's even better, however, is that I know people write 'stupid questions' just to see your 'stupid responses'. I'll be blunt: What do you really want from your readers? (And don't give me that "good question" garbage... most of these inquisitions are actually abstract, amusing, and worth pondering.) -Kurt ANSWER Wow, that's a good question. I was going to leave it at that, but Noah called me a jerk, which I guess I am, so I'll elaborate. I remember back in the day, I used to be fun, and answer questions fun-ly. Now I just sit and bitch about how you people are dumb, which most of you are, but some of you want to have fun, and I've lost sight of that in my quest to destroy stupid people. So, as long as your question is in good taste, and NOT asking me if you should date or ask out, or like certain people, I'll give them decent answers. (Interruption From Dr. Noah-- You suck, DUM. ) QUESTION 10.02.02 DR.DUM SHOULD I GO OUT WITH A MAN WHO LIKES TO HAVE SEX ALOT OR A MAN WHO READS ALL THE TIME. -jodi ANSWER Wow, there are only two kinds of men? I'm missing out. (Interruption From Dr. Noah-- You lied to me! You said you never get dumb questions, look at this one! I bet this girl is blonde! ) QUESTION 10.02.02 A German TV station just released a statement claiming that Sodamn Insane has two or three body doubles and he himself has not been seen for two years on television or in public until last saturday. They claim they used "Face Recognition" technology to find this out. What do you think? -Famous Vagabond ANSWER Face recognition? Wouldn't they need to see the real Sodamn's face first. Even if they did, all they could tell is that they've got 3 different people. Without the original to compare to those 3, any one of them could actually be him. Archives Copyright ©2008 www.dumweb.com, All Rights Reserved