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DR. NOAH TALL ARCHIVES - February 2003
| QUESTION
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02.20.03
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how many skinny people fit in a bathtub.(size does not matter)
-joemama
ANSWER
How many skinny people fit in a bathtub?! Size doesn't matter?! Jesus Christ, and I say this in the most anti-religious fashion, what the kind of a moron are you? No, no, I take that back, that's just as certifiably stupid as your question. What kind of a moron am I? Now that's the true question. I thought I could transcend both Dum and Noah. I thought they were too hard on you people. But this, this is the eternal proof of why man hates man. You're frickin' stupid! If you need me, I'll be trying to drown myself.
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| QUESTION
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02.08.03
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Should oaths and contracts be binding? Or are there exceptions in violating them? And, if people do violate contracts, are they belittling the value of them?
-Still curious
ANSWER
Should they? Yes, they should be binding. At least, that I feel is the purpose of an outh or a contract. It is signed to not be broken. Essentialy, I believe it represents a statement or a declaration, for which if one breaks their word upon, it should not belittle the value of the contract, but the value of their word.
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| QUESTION
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02.08.03
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Where does the phrase "Tape your mouth shut" come from?
-Ope. There goes gravity.
ANSWER
Why I do believe, my gravity loving friend, that it derived from a young lady like you. Or man. And you, you young lady/man sent in question after ignorant question regarding a priori knowledge and wanting a a posteriori answer. For that, my friend, I tell you to "Tape your mouth shut." but figuratively. Your fingers.
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| QUESTION
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02.08.03
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How did I get a huge splinter embeded into my large toe?
-Ow. Pain. Actually, not really. Feet are odd.
ANSWER
Well, that's quite simple. You began associating yourself with a particularly evil piece of plywood. You found out that (I'm assuming you have a significant other) is with Tina tonight, you probably tried to be more friendly to the plywood. While he was massaging your foot, well, the rest is as they say, petrified.
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