DR. NOAH TALL ARCHIVES - September 2002 QUESTION 09.26.02 I have a sharp pain in my side, the dodctors in the Emergency Room don't know what it is. They ran all kinds of test and still don't know, am i dying?!? -HELP!!! ANSWER Hey dork! Look at you, coming to us to see if we can tell you what is wrong with you without ever having seen you, let alone diagnosed you! You sure are smart, just like the other people who do not know what to do with sick children, or broken arms who call on us here! Use your brains people! (Interruption From Dr. DUM-- What did you jerks do to poor Dr. Noah? You should be ashamed ) QUESTION 09.26.02 Do you need a hug? You seem angry and bitter. -Revicted ANSWER I am angry and bitter. People have been deliberately trying to prove me wrong and make me angry and I have had enough. I am finally angry. QUESTION 09.26.02 Woah. Mr. Noah, your answers are always polite and refined, but you seemed to have suddenly gone through a huge personality change. Personality changes are fine..but what happened to you? And, is this change in answers going to be permanent? Your sincereness is needed to foil Dr. DUM. -What?.. ANSWER I could not give a damn if my 'personality change' has offended you. If you want to come here and put up with the crap that "DR." DUM sends me every day, you would change too. QUESTION 09.26.02 Is the world ruled by a midget sitting in the center of the earth listening to old Carlie Chaplin songs? And are we all, in reality, cosmic tools of ultimate power-- pawns in the hands of supreme beings? -Cattle Carrot ANSWER What kind of crap is this?! I am SO fed up with questions like this! I want to be asked something decent and thought provoking that has nothing to do with GOD! QUESTION 09.11.02 Is the earth round? -Anonymous ANSWER No you dolt. It is a flat sheet that goes on forever and ever. On the other side live green skinned women and Nazis. I suggest you go there. Start digging and you'll be there in a week. Ya happy? (Interruption From Dr. DUM-- Oh look, mister prissy pants is aaaaall fussy. Pobrecito. ) QUESTION 09.11.02 I'm curious, what is that little dangling thing in the back of your throat called? -Fat Guy ANSWER The good book says to be nice about stupid people like you so here it goes: Maybe all that fat's clogging your brain! Elementary kids know it is called a UVULA! (Interruption From Dr. DUM-- Whoa! What's wrong with you today buddy? ) QUESTION 09.06.02 Do you have any remedies for an ear problem? my is feels stopped up all the time like it has fluid in it please answer soon Thanks -Donna ANSWER I think you should contact a real doctor. A medicinal doctor. (Note From Webmaster-- For legal purposes we forbid the good Doctors here at DUMWeb to give any medical related advice. If you are looking for medical advice, we ask that you please seek advice from professional medical doctors.) QUESTION 09.06.02 Why don't we use children as currency? -Famous Vagabond ANSWER How appalling that you would ask something like that. I hope you are just kidding. Archives Copyright ©2008 www.dumweb.com, All Rights Reserved