DR. NOAH TALL ARCHIVES - October 2002 QUESTION 10.27.02 Dear Mr. Dr. Holiday, I sincerely hope that you are well! If youaren't, then my sincerity would be a waste. I have one or two questions thatI hope that you would be so incredibly kind as to answer! If you don'tanswer it, all my hoping would be a waste. My question(s) is(are) asfollows: when do you think it is appropriate to wear spify shoes? Do youthink that you can wear them anytime just because they are spify? What ifyou go somewhere formal? Do you have to wear shiny shoes that look likepleather and have mirrors on them? Do those even qualify as spify, or merelynifty? Please, dear Mr. Dr. Holiday, save me from my ponderances! I do sowish not to ponder them any longer! Living in doubt has clouded my mind! (Mymother says its a phase.) Thank you for answering! P.S. Does weather affectpleather? -Knowledge Hungry Being ANSWER What's a "spify" shoe? The occurrences for which one should appropriately wear a spiffy shoe are impossible to dictate, and I'll tell you why. Spiffiness, in its purest form, is relative--what you find spiffy I may not and vice versa. To get the most spiffilicious effect out of your spiffy shoes, you must realize that you can spiffify any foot apparel, and learn to love them all equally. (Whether or not the weather afffects pleather can only be dictated with a wet feather.) QUESTION 10.27.02 I was going to ask a question.BUT! you seem to very rude. justwoundering why you are? this is a web site that is suppose to be foranswering questions . dum or not! -Debbie ANSWER I'll direct this one to you, Dr. Noah, for I am never rude. QUESTION 10.27.02 i am looking for info about eptopic fetus being transfered to theuterus. has it been done? Can it be done? if no one has done it why not,with all the technologies available tody? -Malena ANSWER Would you propose, with all these "new technologies today" that we build a machine that can hurl rocks thousands of miles? Point being: just because we have technology doesn't mean we are required to use it, especially for something that is unnatural. (No man can throw a rock that far, trust me.) QUESTION 10.27.02 why are you answering all of these questions? -nobodyimportant ANSWER We only tell important people. QUESTION 10.27.02 If our ultimate goal in life is to die and go to heaven, and Heavens up in the cosmos, and hell's down under the ground. Why do we bury people when they die? -Famous Vagabond ANSWER I shall answer this query a few ways. First of all, the concept of "going to heaven" or "going to hell" (which is NOT the meaning to life, not even by the Christian religion) constitutes of a seperation from mind and body. The mind or--spirit, if you will, is eternal and is the essence for which goes to either "heaven" or "hell". The body, on the other hand, as a dualist might argue, is simply the embodiment, or transporter, of our soul while we're on earth. Secondly, out of all the meanings for existence, if you believe that it is to live, die, and then go to "heaven" or "hell", well, why are you still here? I'd think it a sad state in the world when we live for no purpose external to either find pseudo-eternal happiness or pseudo-eternal anguish. Thirdly, what would you propose, we throw people out into space? QUESTION 10.27.02 On one of the various news programs a couple "experts" were debating about the serial sniper. One guy was debating that the sniper is a gamer, blaming violent video games. Even claims that these video games gave the guy practice. What are your thoughts and opinions about this side of this so-called "experts" thoughts? -Phate ANSWER This "expert" clearly found himself distressed with not the situation of a sniper, but the realization that we haven't the slightest clue as to why he committed such acts. It is highly ignorant to point the finger towards video games, and mainly for this reason: millions upon millions of gamers world wide have experienced the rush of FPS (first person shooters) and other violent video games, however, without killing off hordes of people. There is no formula for a murderer, or a school shooter: we can't say, chlid abuse + violent games + poor social skills (picked on, etc...) = murderer. Some people simply have chemical imbalances, and psychological dispositions - to blame an industry that targets the masses (for that is what we are truly asking for: violence, murder, sex - in the media) then it is not the games at fault, but the citizens who project the image that this is tolerable and what we prefer. We buy the games, that's why they make them. QUESTION 10.27.02 L'énergie nucléaire est un des méthodes les plus dangereuses de produire l'électricité, mais elle est également une des plus efficace. Êtes-vous d'accord avec le rapport de tis? -Cattle Carrot ANSWER Cie la vie. QUESTION 10.27.02 What makes fruits ripen in a paper bag? -JWS ANSWER The paper bag. QUESTION 10.12.02 Dr. Noah Tall has left on a leave of absence. While it is a shame that the good doctor couldn't handle the criticism and insults we do wish him a speedy recovery of his wits and good nature. There will always be a place here for him if he should choose to come back. Taking Dr. Noah Tall's place is the good doctor, Dr. Holiday. Please welcome him to the site! We hope you enjoy! QUESTION 10.12.02 DR. NOAH TALL GIVES THE ANSWERS(Below) QUESTION 10.12.02 Does Dr. Noah Tall realize that Dr. DUM did not encourage any of his fans to write hate mail to Noah and in no way drove Dr. Tall to his current state of hate. If I remember correctly (which i may not) Noah came here saying Dr. DUM was a fluke and isnt a real Dr. flinging dirt on his first appearence. Well all the fans of the beloved doctor didnt take well to this, so Noah, can you really blame US, the fans of DUMWeb, for being jerks, or will you take credit for throwing the first stone? -Famous Vagabond ANSWER That is it! How can you all be so blind? I am the smart one here! Yet you all blame me! You will NOT see me here for quite some time! I am taking a sabbatical until you all learn to respect others! QUESTION 10.05.02 Why don't medical doctors find a way to transfer life energy from living useless people into soon to be useful dead people?Example: Cheri O'Teri into Gilda Radner, Colin Quinn into James Belushi. I', sure there are many more peole deseving of this treatment -SNLFAN ANSWER How bout you shut up Dr. DUMB. I would use you to infuse a cow so I can eat. QUESTION 10.02.02 Je pensent que DR. NOAH a un bâton énorme vers le haut de son âne, que vous pensent? Règles de P.s. = de DR.dum!!! -Down With Noah ANSWER Eat me! QUESTION 10.02.02 If I had a blue shirt and a green shirt, and i was colorblind, how could i make sure the shirt i picked would not clash with my tangerine-spotted chartreuse plastic pants? -Georgie ANSWER Go naked. (Interruption From Dr. DUM-- GASP! I never knew you to endorce nudity like that! Welcome to manlihood! ) QUESTION 10.02.02 I have recently got together with my boyfriend and his mom seems to be really cool untill she got in our relationship too now she wants us apart because her and her son come as a package what should i do?? -Why ANSWER Blondehottie83, huh? Is that your own skewed opinion or someone elses? Well, I guess you could take a hit out on her because she is obviously dumb as a box of HAY. Moms need to learn how to let go. It was the way God made you, so DO IT. QUESTION 10.02.02 Help! I'm stuck in a gooey swamp, and there's an evil looking gang of squirrels making chirpy noises and looking cute! What should I do? -Cattle Carrot ANSWER I am not trying to have "fun" here, I am still raging pissed, soooo, little Cattle Carrot, I hate you until I die. QUESTION 10.02.02 Dr.Noah, I was curious, what would your ideal questions be? Or, what area would you say your specialized knowledge is in? Thank you, hopefully this will help you recive questions that are more compatible with you. -Wondering.. ANSWER Well, consdering that Dr. DUM and I have both answered this question countless times before and have rejoiced in our answers when a good one is received, you cattle should be able to figure it out on your own. If not, then you really are nothing more than cattle. (Interruption From Dr. DUM-- Oh man, Even I've never called our readers nothing more than cattle, are you alright little buddy? ) QUESTION 10.02.02 A German TV station just released a statement claiming that Sodamn Insane has two or three body doubles and he himself has not been seen for two years on television or in public until last saturday. They claim they used "Face Recognition" technology to find this out. What do you think? -Famous Vagabond ANSWER Whoopty doo! Oh wait, this question is rather serious. What are they saying, they went back in time and used this new technology to see that hey, it is not really Saddam? How would they know he has not shown his face unless they have had this technology for years and not letting the public at it? Archives Copyright ©2008 www.dumweb.com, All Rights Reserved