BLONDE JOKE ARCHIVES - August 2005 Back to Main | Submit a Joke | Blonde Archives Blondes on an Island 08.25.05 There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island. The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a black haired woman.The black haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island. The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge. Rate This Joke: 18 (  +  |   -   ) Car Horn 08.25.05 One day, a blonde and a brunette were out for a ride in the blonde's new car. Suddenly, some jerk pulls in front of them. The blonde then puts her lips on the steering wheel. The brunette feared for her life, but had the courage to ask, "What are you doing?!" The blonde calmly replied, "I'm trying to blow the horn." Rate This Joke: 21 (  +  |   -   ) Race 08.25.05 A blonde woman was in a competition to swim across the English Channel. Her competitors in the Breast Stroke division were a brunette woman and a redheaded woman. The brunette came in first, the redhead a few minutes later. Just as the sun was setting, the blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, "I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms." Rate This Joke: 7 (  +  |   -   ) Pretty Blonde 08.25.05 A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when something goes wrong with the car and it breaks down. Luckily, she happens to be near a farmhouse. She goes up to the farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, "Oh, it's Sunday night and my car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until tomorrow when I can get some help? " "Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke." She looks through the screen door and sees two men standing behind the farmer. She judges them to be in the early twenties. "Okay", she says. After they have gone to bed for the night the woman begins to get a little horny just thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?" They say, "Huh?" She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers." She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go at it all night long. Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth. Jed says, "Luke?" Luke says, "Yeah, Jed?" Jed says, "You remember that blond woman that came by here about forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?" "Yeah," says Luke, "I remember." "Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" asks Jed. "Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not". "Me, neither," says Jed, "Let's take these things off." Rate This Joke: 15 (  +  |   -   ) Hail Storm 08.12.05 A blonde was driving her car one day, when she ran into a hailstorm. The hail stones were very large and made a lot of dents in the roof of her car. After the hail stopped, she went to a gas station and asked the attendant what she could do to get the dents out of her car. The attendant, being a smart-ass, told her: "Blow real hard into the exhaust pipe, and that should push out the dents." When the blonde got home, not knowing any better, she did just that. While she was down on her hands and knees with her lips wrapped around her car's tailpipe, huffing and puffing trying to blow the dents out, her roommate-also a blonde-came home. Her roommate of course asked her what the heck she was doing. The first blonde told her how the guy at the gas station said this was how she could get the dents out. The second blonde thought about it for a moment, then said: "Like, uh, you have to roll-up the windows first." Rate This Joke: 19 (  +  |   -   ) Genie & Truck Driver 08.12.05 A truck driver was tooling down the highway one afternoon and heard a "pop." Thinking that perhaps he had blown a tire, he steered the rig onto the shoulder and walked back to check his tires. He found a bottle laying in the gutter. He picked it up and wiped off the label to see what kind of bottle it was when a very old genie popped out. The genie said, "Man, I'm too old for this! You get one wish -- not three -- just one." The driver thought long and hard, and finally said, "It would be really nice for all the bridges to be wide enough that over-sized loads could get through without any trouble." The genie said, "Do you know how many bridges that would be?! Can't you come up with something simpler?" The driver replied, "How about if you make all the blondes as smart as brunettes?" The genie shook his head vigorously and answered, "How wide would you like those bridges?" Rate This Joke: 14 (  +  |   -   ) Lollipops 08.12.05 One day, a blond went to the store and went to the candy section. After a while the blonde went to the cashier with 15 bags full of lollipops. The cashier asked "Excuse me miss, but why do you need all those lollipops for?" "I need to practice." Replied the blonde. Rate This Joke: 20 (  +  |   -   ) Back to Main | Submit a Joke | Blonde Archives Copyright ©2008 www.dumweb.com, All Rights Reserved