RELIGIOUS JOKE ARCHIVES - July 2005 Back to Main | Submit a Joke | Religious Archives Look What I Found! 07.21.05 A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it closely. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's underwear!" Rate This Joke: -2 (  +  |   -   ) Adam Strays 07.21.05 When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she told her mate. "Eve, honey, you're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You know you're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by a strange pain in the chest. It was his darling Eve poking him rather vigorously about the torso. "What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded. "Counting your ribs," said Eve. Rate This Joke: 6 (  +  |   -   ) Adam Gets Lonley 07.21.05 One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem." "What's the problem, Adam?", God replies. "Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I'm just not happy" "Why is that, Adam?", comes the reply from the heavens. "Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely." "Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a 'woman' for you." "What's a 'woman', Lord?" "This 'woman' will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth. She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you.", replies the heavenly voice. "Sounds great." "She will be, but this is going to cost you, Adam." "How much will this 'woman' cost me Lord?", Adam replies. "She'll cost you your right arm, your right leg, an eye, an ear, and your left testicle" Adam ponders this for some time, with a look of deep thought and concern on his face. Finally Adam says to God, "Ehhh, what can I get for a rib?" Rate This Joke: 9 (  +  |   -   ) Jesus Is Watching You! 07.21.05 A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place into his sack, a strange disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU!!!!". He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a long vacation after his next score, and then clicked the flashlight back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so that he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU!!!!". Totally rattled, he shone his flashlight around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot. "Yes," the parrot confessed, and then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, Huh? Who do you think you are anyway?" "Moses", replied the parrot. "Moses", the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a parrot MOSES?" The parrot quickly answered. "The same kind of people that would name a Rottwieler JESUS". Rate This Joke: 6 (  +  |   -   ) Back to Main | Submit a Joke | Religious Archives Copyright ©2008 www.dumweb.com, All Rights Reserved