SEX JOKE ARCHIVES - July 2005 Back to Main | Submit a Joke | Sex Joke Archives What will our baby be called? 07.21.05 A high school girl finally had the opportunity to go to a party all alone. Since she was very good looking, she was a bit nervous about what to do if boys hit on her. Her Mom said, "It is very easy! Whenever a boy starts hitting on you, you ask him 'what will be the name of our baby?', that will scare them off." So off she went. After a little while at the party a boy started dancing with her and,little by little, kissing her and touching her. She asked him, "What will our baby be called?" The boy found some excuse and disappeared. Some time later the same thing happened again, a boy started to kiss her neck, her shoulders . . . she stopped him and asked him about the baby's name, he ran off. Later on another boy invited her for a walk, after a few minutes he started kissing her and she asked him, "What will our baby be called?" He continued, now slowly taking her clothes off. "What will our baby be called?" she asked once more. He began to have sex with her. "What will our baby be called?!" she asked again. After he was done, he took off his "full" condom, tied it in a knot and said, "If he gets out of this one . . . David Copperfield!" Rate This Joke: 9 (  +  |   -   ) Pleasing a Woman 07.21.05 A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." The women start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thin." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here have it long and thin." Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thick." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here have it long and thick." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman." Rate This Joke: 14 (  +  |   -   ) Little Johnny Goes Hunting 07.21.05 Little Johnny was walking down the sidewalk one day and an old man was sitting on his front porch rocking back and forth in his rocking chair. The old man said, "Whatcha got there son?" Johnny said, "Got me some chicken wire." "Whatcha gonna do with that chicken wire son?" asked the old man. "Gonna catch me some chickens!" said Johnny. "You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!" said the oldster. Johnny just shrugged his shoulders and walked on down the street. About a half hour later Johnny came back passing the old man's front porch . . . with 3 chickens entangled in the chicken wire! The old man was shocked and couldn't believe his eyes. About a half hour later, Johnny was again walking past the old man's porch. "Whatcha got now son?" "Got me some duct tape." "And whatcha gonna do with that duct tape?" the old man asked. "Gonna catch me some ducks!" "You can't catch ducks with duct tape!" said the old man. Johnny just shrugged his shoulders and kept on walking. About a half hour later, back comes Johnny with 3 ducks tangled in the duct tape. Again, the old man rubbed his eyes in disbelief. About a half hour later, Johnny again was passing the porch. "Whatcha got now son?" asked the old man. Johnny said, "Got me some pussy willow." The old man said, "WAIT RIGHT THERE WHILE I GET MY SHOES!" Rate This Joke: 5 (  +  |   -   ) Good Luck Mr. Gorsky 07.21.05 When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous 'one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind' statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, 'Good luck Mr. Gorsky.' Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the 'Good luck Mr. Gorsky' statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled. On July 5, 1995 in Tampa Bay, FL., while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbor's bedroom windows and Armstrong went to get the ball. His neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky: "Oral sex! You want oral sex? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!" Rate This Joke: 11 (  +  |   -   ) Back to Main | Submit a Joke | Sex Joke Archives Copyright ©2008 www.dumweb.com, All Rights Reserved